Where to Begin???

Im not quite sure what days and weeks are anymore as they all seem to be blending together at massive speed! I have been occupying my spare time these past few weeks with really diving into finding myself an apartment to set up a home base for at least the next year as I get accustomed to the city and my new life in general. It truely is insane at how little you can get and still putting out an obsene amount of money! My goal... to feel safe, comfortable, something large enough to feel like im not crawing the walls as well as have room to hostess on occasion to family and friends, and will also allow me to have my cat (who i miss dearly, but am extremely grateful to my mom for taking care of while i figure things out). I also need a place that is close to the subway and shopping... you know pretty much the neccessities of everyday living! Realistically... Super small studios and the ok ones are still starting at around 1500 in decent areas... I can get something for 1100, but not in an area I feel secure living alone... OK.. Next option... Roomate... Problem... Im 26 and for some reason just too damn independent for my own good, not to mention I havent found a situation that could work realistically... "What am I trying to accomplish???" I keep asking myself... "What am I looking for??" -- I cant really answer these questions because Im honestly not sure... Some days I feel like Im just floating in a vast abyss waiting for the world to answer and comfort me... What i do know... I need to take care of myself and live in the moment of today for all it's worth... Thinking about tomorrow is not something I do anymore...

So many choices and directions to pursue, but i have decided to rest my dreams of taking up residence in Manhattan itself (at least this year anyway) and focus on finding something in Brooklyn... Rents there are still high, but certainly more affordable and with more space for your money... (This decision has come only after a few really long days of looking at various scary or totally unafforable apartments as well as bunches of craigslist listings, leading me in circles!

Last weekend I had a lead on a place in Park Slope, Brooklyn (nice area) from a Buffaloian friend of mine who has been extremely gracious and helpful in showing me some ropes since i moved here... We met up and checked it out... VERY NICE!! but again really small and it didnt allow any pets (not cool)... and also wouldnt be available til April 1st... My absolute cutoff in my current place is March 15th!!! I filled out an application anyway, but we continued walking around for miles on end checking out a few places I found on craigslist and stopping in various brokers offices, where they seemed to almost laugh at me when i told them what my price range was! I felt like an ant... They were all really nice though and told me to stay positive as it was possible and were more than willing to call me when they get something... Why is it that what I consider a decent salary cant pay for a habitable place to live and set some roots for a year on my own, without having to wonder if I will have enough left over to pay for the remaining necessities of everyday life?? By 3 pm I was getting extremley disheartened and felt like pulling my hair out. My pant legs were wet up to my knees from the various slush puddles i had been trenching through all afternoon and an anxiety started overtaking me... For the first time i was really beginning to feel at a loss for direction... I was hitting my bottom... should i rethink my direction and start considereing a roomate again??? Do i have enough time??? AHHH!!! In the midst of my mind explosion, I was blessed with a call from one of the brokers telling me he had an apartment available in Brooklyn Heights (very nice area) - in an elevator co-op building with a doorman!!! Cool Beans!!! We arranged to meet at his office in Park Slope and he drove us to check out the place! (Thank goodness... my body was exhausted from walking in the cold all day - seriously we literally walked about 15 miles or more)... As we drove into the area an overwhelming feeling of excitment rushed through as the location was absolutely ideal to what i was looking for at this moment of my journey... The building is located in the midst of all the necessities i could ever image with the feel of downtown city living, yet also around the corner to picturesque treelined brownstone streets! There is even a Barnes and Noble a stones throw away! The building itself kind of reminds me of a 1980's style hotel, but it is secure, has its own laundry-mat and all the utilities are included in the rent! Who can ask for more! The apartment itself has a small, one-person kitchen with a dishwasher, open layout and lots of closet space!!! I can make this work... I think to myself as we inspect the apartment... It just needs some area rugs, a few plants and decorations... some simple TLC.. Yes, I can do this!! Now the paperwork... I am the only person they are showing this to as I secure it with a check... then enter the world of mountains upon mountains of paperwork and check writing... the catch to this whole unbelieveable deal... is a lot of money up front (all to be given back when i move out)... and a wait to get approval to sublet through the co-op board... meaning they have to completely approve all my paperwork, credit, etc.. then if approved I have to basically interview with the board on March 11th and then I can move in if they like me... (Im a cool gal.. whats not to like... right! --- gotta stay positive!!) I have a lot riding on this and no time to really play with... Needless to say, im feeling anxious, scared and excited all at the same time!! Lots of questions, uncertainties and confusions swimming around in my head... But what keeps me going and calm is the overwhelming definite and unexplainable feeling within, that i am suppose to be here...

Here are a few pics I took in Brooklyn on my venture, along with some of the city when it snowed here last Friday (rare - but neat)...